Argument
In some societies, the word ‘argument' is a dirty word, more so, if are they from children. Argument is a healthy expression of an individual's opinion. Its forms the basis of communication between two or more individuals to reach a consensus, to learn, to understand subjects from a variety of views. It takes confidence and responsibility for one to present his views. In homes, politics, or at work, decisions from a variety of opinions offers, most often the best solutions. To give space to argue is civil, democratic and dignifying. It forms the basis of a just and fair administration at home or at work. And this can start right at home.
It is an intrinsic instinct in children to argue. We have this seen all around us. But generally this instinctive nature is diluted and denied by parents and adults in authority. By our imposing, or shall I say bullying ways we instill fear in the budding young minds to stop this. They are constantly bombarded with - DO NOT ARGUE, DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO, DON'T' TALK BACK, SHUT UP, I KNOW BEST. YOU ARE ONLY A KID, STOP ARGUING AND LISTEN etc, etc. This should stop - so that great strides can be made by harnessing the creative energies and ideas of little minds who will charter the history of the future. Arguments are therefore not necessarily destructive ...they are constructive. Great discoveries followed great arguments.
Parents should encourage healthy arguments in the nurturing family environments. They themselves must set examples of healthy arguments. For this to begin, some rules must be set.
Rule 1- Arguments should not accompany anger, name calling or insults.
Rule 2-No yelling or shouting
Rule 3- No interference till one completes his presentation or his turn.
Reason
Argument must and usually follows some reasoning. For when one is arguing, he needs to explain his reasons which are a product of a thought process. When there is a thought process, there is brain activity and electrical impulses in the brain. The reason behind an argument may be not necessarily be logical. The arguer sees validity in his opinion. He exposes others to a different thought and that in turn spurs more thoughts and electrical processes. It is therefore a healthy and neurological exercise for children. It is free of charge and fun too. To do this parents must sharpen their skills at listening and back their dealings with their children with respectful reasoning. Children will learn to respect other's opinions and gain confidence and grow up with a healthy dosage of respect for him self and others. Children learn at a young age that reasoning is a normal healthy communication process.
Rule 1- Reasoning need not be necessarily logical for what is logical for one illogical for another.
Rule 2-Reason must be given for ones argument.
Rule 3-No slamming of reasoning, insults, shouting or interference.
Challenge
Argument leads to challenging the status quo or a position or an idea. Challenging an idea is an afterthought of critical understanding of the subject of contention. The arguer not only needs to back his reason for his argument, he also needs to takes a critical view with reason of the ‘opponent'. Children must be encouraged to offer critical views in a non insulting way. Children must ne encouraged to explore alternative ideas. They will learn not only to challenge with respect but also learn their views to be challenged. This leads to a maturity of wisdom.
Rule1-Challenge is towards the idea presented and not towards the person.
Rule2- No insults, yelling, shouting.
Rule3-Respect the challenge and appreciate the beauty of differing opinions.
Rule 4-Be open to new ideas and possibilities.
Vela RamRaffles Movers International Pte Ltd51 Sungei Kadut Loop, Singapore 729497Tel : 65 - 68943720 Fax: 65 - 68943731 www.rafmover.com
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